Do you know what is harder than your exams in MMU? That’s right fat lovers. It’s the dreaded question of “where the fucking fuck to eat”. Whether you are a freshie or an old potato pledging your soul to MMU (a.k.a extending students) we ask this question like 50 times a day and yet ends up eating roti Nan in Al-Abrar that looks sadder than your CGPA. But worry not as we list down the Top 10 best place to eat around MMU. Along with our unqualified food expert, we made up this list based on several key factors. For example, the walking distance from MMU, variation of foods served, cleanliness as in NOT only the dining area but the kitchen & food as well, and finally the price.Here are the results…
10. Gulf-Street Gutter IV
Everybody knows one or more horror stories involving rats and how you almost died from eating at a mamak. Even if you don’t, it has become a part of MMU’s tradition to embellish such stories because people can run out some good stories in a conversation. Whether it is real or just a hallucination from eating leftover roti canai, it’s better to find it out for yourself.
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| Naturally, the lighting is poor here |
Let’s just get to the point on why the hell Gulf is on this list. For starters, Gulf has more unique non local foods than you can ever imagine. Hear this, Tandoori Sandwich, Fried Chicken Sandwich, Fathirah Lebanon, Fathirah Saudi, Shahab Lemon, more weird sandwiches, Tandoori Fried Rice, Kashmiri Nan, Fruit Nan, and sex on beach. I am not really sure about the last one though. Gulf is nearby Asri, along the 7-Eleven’s row just opposite BBP. Customers have no problem sitting next to a big drain while enjoying their meal, because hey, who the fuck cares where you sit when they are serving delicious food at a reasonable price. Do you know there are some halfwits who enjoy eating their meals in a toilet? And by meal we mean food shaped like poo-poo and served in a toilet bowl plate? So yea, eating next to a drain is not really a big deal nowadays.
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| Tandoori fried rice, Fathirah Lebanon,Shahab Lemon |
Oh and if the poop restaurant sparked up some endorphin in your system or gets you excited…seriously, meet a psychiatrist. There is more to life than experiencing a toilet bowl diner.
9. Selera Dapur – The Minimalist Chicken Lover
You go to an Indian restaurant if you want chapati. A Chinese restaurant if you want Wan Tan Mee. That is the cardinal rule of dining out because believe it or not there are some losers who will be ‘craving’ for KFC cheesy wedges in a local Malay restaurant. But when you are given a menu that spans around somebody else’s entire culture, you have to take out your smartphone and start googling some of its items.
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| Excuse me boss, what is ikin bilis ya? |
While other insane profit sucking restaurants usually opt for 60 items in their menus, Selera Dapur has 6 for each food category. I’m not sure if the owner had ran out of ideas or secretly stockpiling foods by limiting their menu. Surprisingly, less option in menus are far more convenient to make decision.Especially when the food looks appealing in their illustration.
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| Source : Foursquare |
Selera dapur probably serves one of the best non hawker style nasi lemak and chicken rice.The restaurant is on same row as Dima on its left. Although small, the place is refurbished well with excellent dining ambience. Prices are cheap and reasonable but the best part is the food portion which is really, more than enough. Selera Dapur serves some of the archetypal Malay dishes, such as cencaru,pari bakar, nasi lemak berempah, and corn juice.If you would love to taste some home cooked Malay food and need it quick, Selera Dapur is the place to be at.
8. Asri Ros Merah -The Old Trafford
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| source: Foursquare |
Everyone likes dining out at mamak, except people who have found an ambiguous looking hair or cockroaches in their kambing soup. But we are not here to talk about our unpleasant experiences. Let’s talk about Asri. Asri Ros Merah is probably the most overated mamaks around MMU which somehow have morphed into the headquarter of Manchester United’s fanatics. I typically enjoy the football environment at this place, so much of joy, disappointment and people running away without paying in the midst of the crowd. Mamak food are essentials to Malaysians. It may just be a place to get your filthy roti canai and ‘finger dipped’ Teh Tarik but for some of us, it is a form of entertainment or recreational activity. Moderately clean and cheap, Asri Ros Merah is definitely an all in all mamak place that comes with a bang.
7. Hungry Bear - You are the Bear
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| Hungry Bear. Thats what a bear would name a restaurant if it wanted to trap humans and maul them later. |
If you are the type that thinks daily caloric recommendation and nutritional facts are just numbers, then welcome to Hungry Bear. To be clear, Hungry Bear has nothing to do with bears or goldilocks or small girl getting devoured by grizzlies but has a lot to do with pizzas, French fries and other Americano foods.f you love organizing food orgy with pizzas covering your body and American tea sprinkled all over your naked body, it’s time to order a take away from Hungry Bear. Situated in BB Bazaar right next to a fierce competitor (Old Town), Hungry bear survives solely on their pizza expertise. Say you are really not a za' lover and you desire an expensive greasy American breakfast that can clog your arteries. Look no further than Hungry Bear's breakfast menu where almost all recipe include bacons and a complimentary coffee (price ranges from MYR 8.90-15.90)But honestly, I prefer Hungry Bear for its food orgy friendly concept. What I mean by that is, this place is great to have a secluded meeting or hangouts with your friends, be it a discreet relationship, birthday parties or family.
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| source:Foursquare |
6.Old Town White Coffee – White Coffee
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| source : Hungrygowhere |
Foodies or food hipsters are probably the term some people use to deliberately display to the public that they are very knowledgeable about food or beverages. They are the type of people who smug about anything you eat. Its food people, most of us eat food to sustain life and honestly, I don’t really care if the coffee beans used in Old town is less superior to the processed rabbit dropping beans they use in Starbucks. That being said, I am willing to take the stand to defend Old Town White Coffee against the hedonistic food armies that worship Starbuck’s fat mermaid. For starters, Starbuck enslaves farmers to produce coffee for them. Countless of poor farmers in Ethiopia had been sucked into the abyss of poverty and sickness due to unfair wages. Maybe a farmer’s kid just died because they can’t afford medicines. How’s that for a thought? Yes, you murderer, sip on that caramel macchiato…
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| Admit it you reptilian bastards.There's no escape now |
Unlike Starbucks, Old Town White Coffee manually brew and stir existing coffee beans to create a new flavor. It’s like adding butter in your tea and claiming a new unique tea recipe. Anyways, Old Town White Coffees are not bad actually. In fact, it is quite surprising for a MYR 5.00 coffee to have more aroma and taste. Old Town is located in BB Bazaar which will take you about 10 minutes to reach if you are walking. Old town’s menu is one of those that will make you stay far longer in an indecisive hunger state until you piss off the waiter that might not return to take your orders. Should I get the Toast or Ice Cream Toast, Kaya Toast or Butter Toast, ohh Hot Steamed Bread with Kaya, wait a second they have Curry Mee, ok Curry Mee or Fried Tom yam Noodles, oh shit Nasi Lemak looks good, Nasi Lemak with Orange Fizzy, maybe a Tuna Sandwich, oh its Lunch Time Promotion, I can get 3 items for 2 items price…ok, kaya toast and warm water please. Thank you. The possibilities are endless and that is what I like in Old Town.
5.Windmill Station
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| source : foursquare |
Let me be totally upfront here—branded restaurants & cafes are a self-esteem booster. (except Starbucks) More often than not, it is the pride of knowing that you can afford some quality gourmet style food in a classy restaurant with your PTPTN loan. Unfortunately, Windmill Station is nothing like that. It turns out that windmill station is just another ordinary restaurant with ordinary food that comes with extraordinary GST tax. To tell the truth, Habeeb’s lunch meal (of course we are talking about rice with side dishes and not your bitchy roti telur/Maggi soup) is more expensive compared to Windmill. No, we are not joking. Here is another truth, Habeeb is no different from Windmill except that the latter is furnished indoor and fully air-conditioned (Think about it)
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| ...and I thought food porn was just a myth |
But in terms of food & cleanliness, the obvious winner is of course Windmill. Besides, there is all kind of stuffs you can eat in windmill for cheap, for example like this Club Sandwich. For a minimum price of 7.50 MYR (GST included) you will get a few cute baby sandwiches filled with chicken meat. It is quite filling to be honest. Other food falls within the same price range (MYR 7.00 – MYR 15.00) and some comes with complimentary drinks and desserts. Windmill is perfect for tea time too but not for their tea or coffee. Yet, I think Windmill’s hot drinks deserves a compliment as they tastes better than my ex-girlfriend’s coffee…(except that she never really made one for me)But when it comes to a hassle free tea time snacks option, windmill’s sandwiches and chicken balls are better than most.
4. Pantai Timur - Food from the Far East
The Peninsular East coast have never failed to amuse me. Be it their islands,beaches,chicks,friendly people speaking in fancy languange or their food. When it comes to places like Kelantan and Terengganu, every other state in Malaysia is like some lesser fantasy realm without leprechauns and gay unicorns. There is a great variety of delicious food in Kelantan. Specialities include nasi kerabu (rice with herbal salad) and ayam percik (marinated chicken barbecued on a bamboo skewer) while tom yam,barbecued fish and keropok lekor are also hot items.
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| source : openrice |
If you'd like to know what eastern food tastes like, head to Pantai Timur located behind MMU's tennis court. Despite the distance, we included pantai timur in this list due to its food variety and its affordable price. When i say affordable, its really affordable as in believe it or not, you can get a complete dinner meal for MYR 4.50 here! Whats mind blowing here is the amount of creativity invested in a recipe. For example, i dont know where else to get a Ribena Soda (carbonated ribena with jelly) and grab a dinner called Nasi Ayam Dara (virgin chicken rice).
3. D'Puteh - Size does matter
When i was a kid, i got into an awful physical argument with my sister over a juice. Yes, juice (i had a great childhood by the way). As a punishment, my dad ordered us three huge ass orange juice (the glass was in the size of a jug that could fit my entire head in) for each and forced us to finish it.Its more like a lesson for being greedy but guess what, i finished them all. My dad looked at me like i am a spawn of the devil himself immersed in the hellish sin of juice lust. Ever since, I've been looking for a juice for that size until i saw this at D'Puteh.
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| size does matter folks |
Now that is what my childhood was made of. Anyways, D'Puteh is located just a few blocks after Pantai Timur. It has similar dishes with Pantai but there's more side dishes like nasi lemaks, keoy teows,lekors, nuggets and french fries. But people really go here for D'Puteh's humongous fresh juice.
2.Dima- They have two doors actually
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| source : foursquare |
If you don’t know what a Shawarma is, grab the nearest object to you (possibly sharp & pointy) and perform a seppuku right now. Just before you do that, Shawarma is a medium sized sweet fucking heaven. Shawarma is technically shavings of grilled meat that is wrapped around pita or wrap bread. Toss in abit of vegetables, pickles, condiments, burn that baby a lil more and there you go! Sweet fucking Shawarma!
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| behold!the making of shwarma |
Still not tempted? Here is the guide to perform a seppuku. If you are tempted and haven’t try this food from heaven, head to Dima right now. Dima is a mid-eastern cuisine café that is comfortably located across the road, opposite ixora’s food court. Unless you are blind, it’s pretty hard to miss their signboard that comes with a questionable catchphrase 'There is only one door to Dima' (maybe it’s a direct translation from an Arabic metaphor). Middle Eastern foods are simple but yet exotic at the same time. Dima offers a variety of Middle Eastern cuisines at a reasonably-slightly expensive price. But the food is good, so it’s kind of worthy to visit this place once in a while. It is advisable for you to visit this place with somebody who is familiar with Middle Eastern food as names like, hummus basboosa, banana mousoub, barbicans, manakeesh, holoumi, falafel and all that can be easily confused with what sounds like a Middle Eastern version of Pokémons.
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| Go hummus! |
1. Batavia- Authentic Indonesian Food & Mutated Fish
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| source : Foursquare |
This place is the Krusty Krab of MMU Melaka just without the Crabby Patties, SpongeBob, pineapple house, Patrick Star, Squidward, and Mr.Krab or… ok fine, it’s not even remotely close to Krusty Krab. Except! That they do have mutant fishes.
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| source:sixthseal |
Despite looking like an aborted fetus of a slutty mermaid, this fried creature is quite delicious. That thing is actually an eel. A famous recipe among Indonesians, the Keli Penyet along with its land counterpart, the celebrated Ayam Penyet is what the Batavia café is all about.Situated down Ixora along the shop lots, this place is quite hard to miss and pretty close to MMU. Varieties of local Javanese dishes including tempeh (fried soybean cake), chicken chops, traditional Malay vegetables (ulams & belacan), fried fishes, curry leave fried chickens, fried mushrooms, black pepper beef and many more foods are served as well. The café is somewhat clean and poultries are resupplied daily, so you don’t really have to worry about finding an uncooked chicken that was left outside for 2days on your plate. Batavia currently holds the record for serving the cheapest side dishes in the vicinity of Jalan Ixora, and probably around MMU.
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| Wait,did't they fry you?No? |
Agree with our list? What is your favorite place to dine in around MMU? Like this post and comment below.Thank you for reading
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